I Just Read Another Blog...

and it totally spoke to me. There are days when I just want to throw my child in the street and let her survive and see how she does. Yesterday I was awoken, because Nate is sooo awesome to get up with Libby and let me sleep in during pregnancy months, to a crash and breaking glass of one of our bowls. I realize that Libby is done with her breakfast and instead of telling us she's done, she decides to show us with physical force. Well after wetting my bed and then having Nate clean up the mess, I was composed and calm. Then fast forward 8 hours and she's in my sister in law Emily's room and I find her playing with nail polish, on herself and the carpet. Ok, so that one did not go over well with me and I flew off the handle a little bit and wanted to inflict some pain on the little child that I knew I loved deep down inside, but was hard to love right then. Now to today, she decides that not getting enough yelling and finger-pointing and no-noing from mom was enough, she decides that this morning she's gonna throw that bowl and shatter another one again!!!! I decide that we need some major time apart, I mean half an hour in her crib and away from me while I fume and not do what I have previously mentioned, you know about the street and surviving. I can tell you that motherhood is amazing and I love it, somedays I wonder if it's worth my blood-pressure being so high, but I am amazed at this little person who loves me no matter how much finger pointing and yelling I do at her. I wish I was better, but I know that screwing up and yelling and wanting to inflict pain, not really inflicting pain but wanting, is ok. I have finally let myself know that it's ok to be human. I work to becoming Mother Teresa, but I'm not and really don't want to be anyway, she sounds boring!! Kidding about that last statement. I hope this helps someone else today, because I want to thank Kimber for posting what she had to say.