Final Show...

My mom had her final dance recital on Saturday and it was good. I had some major firsts that night, I have never sat in the front row and helped the dancers, I was always off stage right helping the girls come on. It went off without a ton of hitches, one of my classes didn't get their props and another almost didn't get their props. It was pretty scary but you become a professional and do what you need to do and just do it without it. My mom was pretty emotional, but I really don't think she's ready to "retire". She really wants to teach Libby and so maybe we'll have dance lessons for just her. It was pretty sad to see people that you may never see again and have come to love, but I'm ready to be done and raise my kids and not have to work anymore. I've loved it while it lasted, but I'm so ready to be done and do new things!!!

Inspired!!

I love being inspired by people and then sharing with others my inspiration or inspirations.

1. Molly Landon - She is the most talented photographer and I love the way she makes my skin look flawless. (Actually that's my all time most favorite part). She has this everything is gonna be ok, even if the world is crumbling and I'm super busy, halo around her. She is awesome and you need to check out her photography at mollylandonphoto.blogspot.com.

2. Molly's sisters - This entire family is super uber talented, but these girls make head-bands and they are ultra cute. Plus they are some of the most warm and hillarious people you will ever meet. Check them out at
navyperl.blogspot.com.

3. I don't remember her name, but I found her blog on Allie Palmer's and then Molly showed me a video that they have done about her. Check her out at nieniedialouges.blogspot.com. If you feel like motherhood is monotonous and boring and you don't find real pleasure out of it, listen to her story.

4. Good and chill out music. I love you and have a love relationship with finding good music I can chill out to, but sometimes I need that heavy metal or alternative punk or rock to get my blood flowing. Especially in the mornings.

5. Libby! She drives me crazy sometimes, but that girl can crack me up or make me cry in the blink of an eye. I can't wait to watch her grow up and have a testimony and an awesome personality that I know she already has.

6. My mommy, Stacey is the bomb.com. She is the most giving and charitable human being I have ever met, to bad I'm to much like my dad and not more like her. She is the calm in the storm and really the storm is me, so she calms my soul often and helps me to sort through whatever is going on.

Love to you all or that thing I mentioned!!!

Nate Graduated.

I don't know if you've ever felt those times in your lives when you are so proud of either an accomplishment of you or others, but Nate graduated on May 8th and I couldn't help feeling this overwhelming sense of pride and gratitude for him. Then you start looking at the program and seeing people who graduated with him and realize there are people you haven't seen in forever and yet are still in your home-town going to school.

Also congrats to my cousin Katie, she graduated too and now she's free and breezy to have a baby.

Hanging out With Family is Awesome!!!!

My cousin Toni is moving to Nashville on the 27th of this month and we got to see family I don't see very often. I often forget that they are the best and my biggest support system, I know that's terrible to admit but when they live farther away, and farther I mean Idaho Falls; I know really far, you just tend to see the family here and forget those who are farther from your minds but not your heart. I wish I was better at keeping up with people like friends, family, and extended family, but I am who I am and try to be the best but sometimes I fail in places I need to be better.

So to my friends:
I love you sooooo much. You are always there for me to listen and sometimes I'm not there for you. I hope you know that whenever you need a listening ear or a night out I will always be there.

To my family:
I would not survive without you, especially this last month. I was a frazzled mess and yet you kept me sane and grounded and never judged me. I hope you know that I love you more than anything.

To my extended family:
You are the craziest people I've ever met and I know that I belong right there with you. I laugh and cry with you and it helps me to know that I'm human, but don't have to do it on my own. Thank you for all you are and what you do.

Love,
Beth

Ending Some Things...

We had our very last dance competition in Malad yesterday. It's bitter sweet to see this ending, but my mom and I were talking about it on the ride home and we know that it's time to stop now. But I am sad for those parents and kids that have to decide to conform to what is "norm" in the dancing world. The costumes, music and dance moves are becoming more and more mature and we were almost that little podunk studio that covered a specific niche for those people that felt the same way we did. I have been thinking alot about this since Libby is getting to that age where I want her to start dance if she wants to, but I don't want her to feel like she's giving up something just to have to participate. I guess I'm just old fashioned, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I like the feeling that I can have control over what my child particpates and doesn't to an extent. I've seen too many girls who have given up something just to fit in and dance somewhere that's "popular". I hope that there are more people who feel like I do and not the other way.

Been Awhile...

We're doing awesome and I can't believe Nate is almost graduated. He'll technically be done next week with all his papers and then I think he has one final during finals week he has to take. I love that guy and all his hard work for us!!!

I Just Read Another Blog...

and it totally spoke to me. There are days when I just want to throw my child in the street and let her survive and see how she does. Yesterday I was awoken, because Nate is sooo awesome to get up with Libby and let me sleep in during pregnancy months, to a crash and breaking glass of one of our bowls. I realize that Libby is done with her breakfast and instead of telling us she's done, she decides to show us with physical force. Well after wetting my bed and then having Nate clean up the mess, I was composed and calm. Then fast forward 8 hours and she's in my sister in law Emily's room and I find her playing with nail polish, on herself and the carpet. Ok, so that one did not go over well with me and I flew off the handle a little bit and wanted to inflict some pain on the little child that I knew I loved deep down inside, but was hard to love right then. Now to today, she decides that not getting enough yelling and finger-pointing and no-noing from mom was enough, she decides that this morning she's gonna throw that bowl and shatter another one again!!!! I decide that we need some major time apart, I mean half an hour in her crib and away from me while I fume and not do what I have previously mentioned, you know about the street and surviving. I can tell you that motherhood is amazing and I love it, somedays I wonder if it's worth my blood-pressure being so high, but I am amazed at this little person who loves me no matter how much finger pointing and yelling I do at her. I wish I was better, but I know that screwing up and yelling and wanting to inflict pain, not really inflicting pain but wanting, is ok. I have finally let myself know that it's ok to be human. I work to becoming Mother Teresa, but I'm not and really don't want to be anyway, she sounds boring!! Kidding about that last statement. I hope this helps someone else today, because I want to thank Kimber for posting what she had to say.