Still sad.

I'll tell you what, I'm not eloquent in writing or even in blogging, so no pictures because I honestly don't have any, but I'm ready to share about the hard stuff around here.  Let me start with a friend of mine.  5 years ago I had a friend that died from cancer, he was 23 years old and maybe the "unfair" thing was this family had also lost their mother 8 years before that as well.  To lose someone you grew up with and looked up to was surreal and heartbreaking, put my mortality at the forefront of my mind.  He was a good person that tried his best and you knew that his family he would have had would have been one set firmly on the Lord's path. 
Now, 3 years ago, I had an aunt die from cancer.  What do I say to someone I owe so much to.  My mom grew up in a home without the gospel of Jesus Christ.  But, my aunt had a firm conviction of this and would come and get her 11 years younger than her sister, my mom, and take her to church.  That set my mom on the path of good friends, a temple marriage and a strong love of the Savior Jesus Christ.  She was a rock in the lives of her children and her sisters and her parents.  I believe my grandpa saw her, didn't respond right away, and was softened to the idea of joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at the young age of 80.  She is missed and loved and honored.
Now, a year and a half ago, my father's dad had a heart-attack and passed away.  We were devestated.  My grandpa wasn't one to express his feelings in the open.  Tell you he loved you or even show you with a hug, but he was a giant in the gospel.  I could feel the importance of the temple and a mission from him.  He was amazing. 
Now, a year ago, My father's mom passed away.  She had alzheimer's disease and died peacefully at my parent's home.  She was amazing and her testimony was strong inside her.  I will miss and love her.
Ok, yes my mother's mom just passed away.  I will miss her!  I am 21 of 26 grandkids and I don't have many memories of things my cousins talk about, but I know that when I walked in the room grandma would bring me in and kiss me and I felt like #1 of 26.  She was a best friend and a woman of courage.  My grandparents were in love.  The day my grandma passed, I went and sat with my grandpa.  He turned to me and said, "There will never be another Inga."  Amen to that.  There will never be another Inga.  I hurt inside for my grandma, I yearn to hear her voice, I wish that I could tell her what she meant to me, but I can't.  You know what the best part is, she knows.  She already knows this and I'm grateful she's with all the family and friends that have passed on before.  She was strong in her testimony of Jesus Christ.  She pulled my grandpa up with her to her level, but so, so lovingly.  I know she knew that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true church on the earth.  The only way to find TRUE happiness in this life.  She loved and lived with all her heart and I'm grateful to have called her grandma and family. 

I appreciate your example Morgan Nye.
I love you and praise you Aunt Terry.
I know you're cranky, but I still love you grandpa Landon.
I remember your cute face before the disease and I will miss and love you grandma Landon.
I miss you and hurt for you grandma Gucker.

Sorry, long.