Pregnancy and Motherhood.

So I'm offically the worst mother in the entire world. The other day Nate had gone skiing with the Special Olympics and I was home alone with Libs. Now I usually wake up at about 8:30 and let Nate get Libby and lay in bed until 9 but she woke up at 7:00 a.m. I was so tired and I didn't want to get up so I thought if I let her cry then she'll go back to sleep and I'll sleep and yadada. Well that didn't happen and when I finally dragged myself out of bed she was so distraught thinking that I had left her or that we had abandoned her that all she wanted to do was be held for like an hour. Who does that? Who abandons their child in their own home and lets them cry and let them think they have been abandoned? Well apparently that's me. Oh well, I will live to see another bad mothering day, but for now all I am is me.

So I got the sweetest letter from my sister. Molly you are the best, I love you.

Lost Night.

I know I shouldn't be such a
fanatic and buy the season on DVD and all
that jazz, but I love this show and sue
me. Premiere tonight at 7 pm. WOO.

Sorry about the lapse, again.

So I'm excited to write about what's been going on. We have had a much better month than last and I'm grateful for everything my life gives me, but sometimes I feel like the we're just loaded on. The pregnancy is going awesome, we're having problems with medicaid and no insurance but we'll figure it out and I know it will all be ok. It's hard in this economy with insurance companies doing whatever they please to whoever they please. We're gonna get it all taken care of and this baby's gonna be happy and healthy. Well at least healthy. Went and saw Avatar about a week ago. Sometimes I just hate hype with music and movies and books. Then when I do attempt to watch it or read it I've already analyzed it to death and then it's not as good as it could've been. It was alright, but holy crap did anyone else feel all the political crap that was in it?

Libby is hillarious lately, she takes my phone and pretends to talk to her cousin Josselyn and she laughs with her and tells her, "I know, I know..." She has her mom's personality, which sometimes isn't the best. I didn't realize how being a mom would show me all my flaws in what I do and how I act or teach Libby. I think she forgives me but sometimes I think that she looks at me and is like lay off mommy.

I can't wait for summer, I mean it feels like it anyway we might as well go camping like it is. Plus it'll be closer to my due date then and I'll have this critter out of my body.

It's been awhile.

I know it's been awhile since I've written but I have had a wicked last month. We found out we are going to have our second baby, but that also brings much sickness and puking. I wish there's a way to have a healthy baby, big stomach and no sick feeling allllll the time. It hasn't been soo bad this time and I actually have some really good days where even though I'm super tired and want to go to bed about 10 minutes I get up I really don't have an intense desire to be ill. Also we bought a '97 Ford Explorer for the winter. It was making me crazy not having even a rear-wheel drive vehicle and skidding all over the roads when they got a teeny bit wet and froze. I turned 27 on December and Libby turned 2 on November 12. We are all getting bigger in this place and I love watching her grow and learn so much. I love birthdays, I wish we really did celebrate half or un-birthdays like in Alice in Wonderland; that movie creeps me out. But the saddest part of this last little bit of time has been my grandpa Landon dying on December 11th. He had a heart-attack then aspirated some throw-up into his lungs and had pneumonia as well. He went without oxygen for about 20 minutes and so if they had revived him he probably wouldn't have had the same sort of life-style as he had before. This is so much better for him, but I honestly don't think I've actually said my good-byes to him or feel any closure. Sometimes you have soo much family around you want to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. The awesome part about family is being able to not only calling and relying on them, but having someone to cry and laugh with about the entire thing. I can't believe I wrote all of that, but it has been harder than I really thought it was. The thing it taught me was that family and every moment is so important and you need to enjoy the time you have, no matter how hard or what trials come your way. The people and family around you is sooooo much more important than anything. Anyway...

Not sure what this is.

So much to be Thankful for.!!!

I have so much to be thankful for.  I don't even know how people write down or even pray for everything. 

 I have the best family in the world, my parents help me and Nate sooo much and don't forget the amazing in-laws that are so great that I can't even describe how lucky I am to have them.
My brothers are the bomb and my sister-in-laws are the best.  They have helped me and strengthened me in everything.

I'm grateful that Nate gets to go to school and doubly grateful he's finished in May.

I'm grateful to My Libby.  She's a joy and a party when I need a lift.  Parenting isn't easy, but she actually makes it easier.  She grows so fast that I can't blink sometimes because I'm afraid I'll miss it.  She's 2 and growing into a little girl and not just a baby.

I'm grateful for our house.  Not many people have as much as we do and I can never forget that!!!  We have a good car and nice modern conviences and modern medicine.  That in and of itself is amazing and a blessing.

I'm grateful for my eternal marriage and knowing that I'll be with all my family again.

I'm grateful for this country we live in.  The freedoms and the people who help to keep us free.  Thank you to those service men and women who fight and die for me and you.

Like I said I have sooo much more to be thankful for that I can't even start to write it down, but that was a start!!

I LOVE FALL!!!

I Love fall sooo much.  I love the smells and the falling leaves and the colors and the cold.  I love Thanksgiving and pigging out until I'm truly going to throw-up and then eating just one more slice of pie.  I love the opportunity to be thankful, because I don't take the opp. very often.